


Fine Fine Day

by snowzone5



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: AU, Dark chapters to start, F/M, Mileven, Prison, major angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:48:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29064606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowzone5/pseuds/snowzone5
Summary: Troy and Mike are "friends." Mike hates the way Troy treats girls. One day Troy gets a new girlfriend named Jane.
Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Troy Walsh
Comments: 65
Kudos: 26





	1. What Happened Before - Part I

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a song in the '80's called Fine Fine Day by Tony Carey. I put some personal stuff in here with a bit of a change. It felt right.
> 
> This has a dark side to a chapter or two, but again, Mileven always my end game. :)

_ I’m not bitter about what happened.  _

_ I suppose I should be, but some things in life are completely out of your control. Might have been my own fault for trusting someone I thought was a friend. He was one of those guys that with friends like him, you didn’t really need enemies. I think the only reason we even became friends was because of our interest in music, specifically heavy metal.  _

_ His name was Troy Walsh, he was always trying to impress me, I’m not sure why. Maybe I’m too easily impressed? Or too eager to be impressed? Anyway, the more I got to know him, the less I liked him, well not him, but the way he used people. It was subtle, and I see now that he was really good at it. _

_ The first time he invited me to his place, he showed off all his stereo equipment and offered to make me a mixed tape of heavy metal music. He didn’t even ask me to provide a tape. Good blank tapes were expensive, so I wasn't going to refuse. _

_ Ok. I guess before I get into this next part I should give you some background. I’ve never had a girlfriend. So, blah, blah, yeah, yeah, I’ve never had sex. _

_ Girls aren’t interested in me. I guess I look like a frogface? I mean, I know I’ve been called that a few times, but that was in Middle school. I’d like to think I’ve grown out of that look. I guess not? I don’t friggin’ know. What I  _ do _ know is that girl’s don’t even give me a second look, but I’ve learned to live with it since I’ve been twelve or thirteen. It is humbling knowledge to know that you may never be married or have someone to care for, someone who loves you just the way you are. For just being who you are. _

_ It’s not like I haven’t been nice to girls. Polite, didn’t stare at their tits or their ass. Ok, ok, at least not while they were looking. I appreciate the female anatomy. All of it. I had friends ask me, even my sister, if I was an “ass guy” or a “breast man”. Shit, how do you tell you sister  _ that _? If I wanted to be completely honest with myself? I’d say half and half. Very little on the breasts Shit. I sound like a mouthbreather now. I love boobs. But I wouldn’t make a decision go out with a based on the size of her breasts.. They aren’t that important to me. Like I said, I  _ appreciate _ boobs, but I don’t obsess over them. Their ass? Again, I appreciate a nice bum. Why? I don’t know, put it down to a lizard brain or something. I like hips and a nice shaped ass. Sue me.  _

_ I would never tell a male friend this, but I like a girl’s eyes. Windows to the soul and all that. No boobs? Maybe a little overweight? I don’t care. I’d  _ never _ tell any of my male friends that. I almost feel guilty when someone asks me. I just tell them ‘I’m an ass man’. Crude as that sounds at least I don’t have to explain. _

_ So, Troy. We’d be sitting in the lunchroom at school, and a girl would walk by. I shit you not. His jaw would be wide open, he’d stare at her ass as she walked by. Used to annoy the fuck out of me. You know what was even  _ more _ annoying? He’d never  _ ever _ get fucking caught. We hung out for about four years, not  _ once _ did he ever get caught. I’m not sure he would have stopped if he ever  _ did _ get caught.  _

_ Here I am, no girlfriend. Not even any prospects. I live with it, and this guy, ‘my friend’ is staring at their asses  _ all the fucking time.  _ And not getting caught. _

_ I saw at least two times that he was talking to a girl who was  _ not _ his girlfriend, literally staring at their breasts while talking to them. It’s no wonder I had an inferiority complex at the time. _

_ Was he good looking? I don’t know. I have no idea what girls find attractive. I think I can put money on that it wasn’t my looks. It has bugged the shit out of me since I was nine years old. By the time I was sixteen I figured I’d probably be a bachelor, after a few years people would think I was gay. Ok, I had gay friends, and I think even my mom and my sister thought I was, but I wasn’t. Girl’s just didn’t go for me. I know I’m sounding sorry for myself. That comes from being lonely all the time. _

_ But Troy. He had more girlfriends than he had socks. Tina, Cathay, Darlene, Dalina, Sharon, Gaye (ironic, I know but that was her name, I even had a thing for her at one time.), Jackie (he was only interested in her because I was, I’m almost positive), Chrstiine, Cathy, Bronwyn (I loved that name), Karen. _

_ Fuck. _

_ Did I get them all? Those are the only ones I actually knew about. Were they pretty? Sure. Did they have nice breasts? Sure. Nice ass? Check. They all seemed to be nice. They all looked at me like, ‘Oh this your friend? He seems nice. Feel me up and kiss me Troy..’ I had no idea what they saw in him. It must have been his looks, because the first time he’d reach for their tits they must have thought he was a typical guy. He would wine and dine them. Apparently they all loved it. _

_ And then they were gone. _

_ In a perfect world I liked to think they finally saw what he was like. I never knew. _

_ I still hung out with him. What does that make me? His sidekick? Second banana? I had no friends. I was an introvert, I knew that. Did girls need to see you were a player? I don’t know. I had never dated anyone. I’d like to think that girls my age weren’t that shallow. I was beginning to doubt it though. You used to hear that girls didn’t like giving blowjobs. ‘Ewww!’ Was the general response. But they all did. They just didn’t admit it not even amongst themselves. I had an older girl tell me that. No. Nothing happened there. _

_ Troy moved just outside of town. I think I’d be overstating if I said that it was a suburb of Hawkins. It looked like it though. Probably the mayor’s idea. Anyway, surprise, surprise, he met a lot of new girls out there. _

_ So I got to watch the whole process over and over again. _

_ One of the things I learned to do early is not get hung up on some other guys girlfriend. I did it once before. They call it  _ unrequited love.  _ She didn’t even know I existed. That was a long time ago and she’s long since moved away. _

_ I didn’t do it for any of Troy’s girlfriends either. Would I have gone out with them? Maybe. I don’t know. Probably not. If they were interested in Troy they’d find me less exciting or interesting than dried mud on a shoe. _

_ I don’t think he was at his new location more than a week before he threw a part. And no surprise, showed off his new girlfriend. Ok, she’d have most guys drooling, but one look into her eyes, and my heart was in pain. A lot of it. _

_ She actually looked right at me, I was definitely  _ not _ used to that. I got all flustered when she said, “Nice to meet you Mike.” _

_ That was when I knew I had to get over her  _ now _ before my heart started anything it couldn't finish. She was Troy’s girlfriend. She would never be mine. When he finally dumped her, and I think that’s the way the process was going to go, I don’t think any of his girlfriends ever dumped  _ him. 

_ So anyway. That was that. She seemed really nice. I was very very careful not to look at her body, it would be just my luck that Troy would catch me. She always smiled at me though. Her smile and her eyes were devastating. It was going to be difficult to be in the same room with those two. I knew I’d be gritting my teeth the entire time. _

_ It didn’t help that she started flirting with me minutes after we met. _


	2. What Happened Before - Part II

“I’ve got to head out to get my car washed. You two talk amongst yourselves”

_ Great. Means awkward silence for an hour or more with his new girlfriend. He was  _ never _ quick when he hand washed his car. This was just the way he worked. Car first, then maybe girlfriend, then maybe friends. _

_ “I’ll just make out with Mike while you’re gone. Right Mike? “ _

_ I couldn’t look at either of them, my face was heating up. Troy left. He didn’t even give her a quick ‘see you later’ kiss. Unbelievable. _

_ She twirled her mostly blonde hair in her fingers. “So, Mike. ready to make out?” _

_ “That’s not really funny… uh, he didn’t even introduce you to me.” _

_ “Jane Hopper.” _

_ Figures, she’s the police chief's daughter. He went out with some girl named Tina whose dad was a building developer in Hawkins. He went out with another girl named Tracy who owned the whole sign business in Hawkins. _

_ Girls who have well to do fathers ten to be, um, more adventurous, risk takers, because they know daddy will cover their ass if they get into trouble. _

_ “Uh, Jane, that’s not really funny.”  _

_ I’m not sure what the inflection in my voice was, but she looked down and said, “I’m sorry, Mike.” _

_ That didn’t stop her though, she seemed to be always flirting with me. Now that I knew she was the chief’s daughter it kind of fit. She’d probably had a strict upbringing, and now that she was seventeen or eighteen, she was rebelling.  _

_ “You know Troy is having a bit of a party tonight? He calls them ‘get togethers’. You know Lucas Sinclair?” I nodded. “Ok him and his girlfriend, you can bring a friend too. Troy won’t mind.” _

_ More people to impress, of course he won’t mind. I tried to make small conversation. “What do you do for a hobby?” _

_ “I’m an artist, I finished both the Fine Arts and Graphic Arts program at Hawkins College. Ok let me rephrase that. I’m a copy artist.” _

_ “What’s the difference?” I asked. _

_ “I can take any photo, picture, or painting and duplicate it. Let me show you.” She hurried off to Troy’s bedroom. Ah, so Troy didn't waste any time getting into her pants. I’m sure he’ll brag about it once we are talking sometime… or to everybody tonight when he’s drunk enough. _

_ She came back out holding a sketch pad and an album. It was  _ Changes One Bowie.  _ Then she showed me her sketchbook. _

_ I think I blinked stupidly for a few minutes. It wasn’t just a good rendition, a very clever likeness. It was. An. Exact. Copy. Except for the glossiness of the album cover and the fact that the title was on the album, you couldn’t tell the difference. _

_ “Uh, wow Jane. That’s really good. I mean that’s really  _ really  _ good.” _

_ “Thanks,” she said. She smiled and blushed. Her eyes tore my heart open in ragged, jaggy little pieces of lovelorn meat. _

_ “I want to do an album cover of his favourite band. He has a lot of heavy metal albums, but I can’t tell which one he likes the most. Most of them have stupid covers.” _

_ We went back to his room, I couldn’t even look anywhere near the bed. I went straight for his record collection, I’d been in his room enough, and fished through his albums a enough to know where to find the one I was looking for. _

_ “Here,  _ Iron Maiden _. This is their first album,  _ Killers. _ If you are into maybe, more complex music, this is as about as good as it gets for heavy metal.” _

_ Her eyes went wide. My heart, hadn’t quite finished dying yet, took the next step. “Ooh, he’ll love this as a big painting.” _

_ I shrugged, and said, “I figured it would appeal to your artistic sense, and maybe bit of a challenge to copy.” _

_ “That’s really thoughtful Mike.” She giggled. “I think maybe I’m screwing the wrong guy.” _

_ AAAhhh. Fuck. There it is.  _

_ There is a little bit of difference between the three hearts. The Lonely Heart, The Broken Heart, I had the first, never experienced the second. But I now had the third, The Dead Heart. _

_ Let me be clear. I’ve  _ never _ expected to get a virgin for a girlfriend. When you are about to leave your teens, that possibility has diminished so far that you don’t really consider it as a viable possibility. _

_ But… casually talking about making the mistake that you were screwing the wrong guy, same guy who was turning out to be less of a friend and more of an asshole was… Fuck. I don’t know. The ashes of my dead heart were still keeping me alive. But barely. _

_ I was going to get so fucking loaded tonight it wasn’t funny. _

_ She was looking at me funny… like she was waiting for me to say something. I didn’t have anything to say. _

_ “Mike?...” _

_ “Yeah?” _

_ “Usually when I show people my work they want me to paint something for them.” _

_ “I didn’t want to put you on the spot.” _

_ “Go ahead, put me on the spot.” _

_ I went over to Troy’s albums, I was talking as I searched, “I like heavy metal, that’s kind of how Troy and I became friends. But… my true love.” I almost choked when I said that.  _

_ “My true love is this band.” I pulled out T.REX’s ‘ _ The Slider’ _ album. _

_ “Oh, she’d kind of pretty, who is it?” _

_ “Well that she is actually Marc Bolan, guitarist and song writer for the band. This is… uh, well, I could go into the history, and even the history of the cover, but I thought it might be challenging also. Troy doesn’t like them as much as I do. He only has it...” _

_ “Because you do.” _

_ I had to be very careful here. I was talking to his girlfriend. Troy wasn’t my best friend. Dustin was probably that. I just nodded, avoiding her gaze. _

_ I was going to get  _ so, so fucking loaded _ tonight. _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ “So tell me about this girl again?” Dustin asked me. _

_ “Well, she seems nice, she’s pretty. I mean her eyes are… but…” _

_ “But she’s Troy’s girlfriend.” Dustin finished for me. _

_ “Exactly.” _

_ “There’s definitely a high suckage factor involved in that situation. I don’t have to tell you this Mike, but you know it’s not going to last long.” _

_ I barked out a sarcastic laugh, “Yeah, what are the odds of going out with one of Troy’s Ex’s?” _

_ “Dude, I don’t know why you are friends with that guy.” _

_ “Neither do I Dustin. The way he treats girls is… it’s disgusting. But I know, with most of them, If I said anything, they would just run to Troy with it.” _

_ “Would Jane?” _

_ I had to think about that for a second. I think that maybe she wouldn't. I just shrugged at Dustin, I didn’t really want to get into it. _

_ “You drinking tonight?” _

_ “You bet your ass. Can we get Steve to go shopping for us.” _

_ “Already got your back, Paladin. The Bard has a way with words.” _

_ “I can catch a ride with you? I’ll take a cab back if Troy doesn’t offer to let us crash. His parents are obviously away.” _

_ “No problem. I’m bringing Suzy, is that ok?” _

_ I nodded, sure everyone’s girlfriend will be there. Not mine, of course, but everyone else’s. _

_ Fuck. Me. _


	3. What Happened Before - Part III

_ Here’s the shit that went all wrong.  _

_ Some of it is my fault. Some of it is Jane’s fault. Ok, a lot of it’s my fault. _

_ The first thing that was my fault. I got drunk. Drunk as a skunk. Shitfaced. Plastered. Wrecked. Inebriated. Pissed out of my mind.  _

_ It all boils down to making stupid decisions. _

_ First stupid thing I did: I put on that album for Jane. It’s not heavy metal, it’s what they called  _ Glam Rock _ in the UK, but called  _ Glitter Rock  _ in North America. Anyway I sat in a big white leather easy chair, I planted myself there. For the night... and I drank. _

_ I didn’t even have to get up, Jane kept bringing me beer. She always had a glass of wine going. The last beer she brought me, she just hopped into the same easy chair and sat beside me. _

_ Tightly beside me. From our hips to our ankles. You couldn’t get a slip of paper between us. _

_ That was the second stupid thing. I should have told her to sit somewhere else, but that seemed… I don’t know. Bitchy. I should have moved to another chair. I was drunk and not moving so well.  _

_ Let me tell you, this is how confident Troy was. He looked at me once and I said, “Don’t look at me, I nodded my head toward Jane.” _

_ I actually felt good with her sitting beside me like that. She wasn’t tensed up, I get the feeling that maybe she would have actually kissed me if the opportunity had presented itself. _

_ Troy didn’t do anything, but went over to the turntable, took the album off, and spun it to the floor. He tried to be a bit apologetic when he said, “Maybe later, heavier for now.” _

_ It was the fact that he threw an album from my favourite group on the floor. Anybody could have walked on it, puked on it. Anything. Fucker. I get the feeling that Jane told him about painting the cover for me. I left it there. _

_ Jane got up and put it back in it’s sleeve. I stared at her ass the entire time. I didn’t really fucking care. She had a nice ass, great tits. Fuck I was drunk. _

_ Fucker. Ass-fucking-hole. _

_ I think that was the turning point for me. As it turned out, I needed more emotional abuse. And then I did the third stupid thing. _

_ I became what they called a  _ ‘lamp shade party guy’.  _ You guessed it. Those are the guys so drunk that they put the closest lampshade on their head and sing. Or fart. Or do something so stupidly spectacular they talk about it in school the next week. And you don’t remember it. _

_ But only for a week. Next weekend, new party. Steve Harrington was famous for it.  _

_ Unfortunately I remembered every second. And I didn’t care. _

_ I believe the phrase I came up with was “ _ Bohemian Bush Pig’.  _ I jumped over furniture, acted like an ape, not a pig.  _

_ Got lots of laughs. I didn’t care. All I was concerned about that night was how many beers I could drink before I passed out. _

_ It was not enough. I wish it had been so I could have forgot what happened afterwards. _

_ Later that night, the only people left were me, Jane, and Troy. “I’ll drive you home” He said. _

_ “Fuck, Troy, you aren’t even sober enough to walk.” _

_ “That’s ok Mike, while Troy is driving, I can feel you up in the back seat.” _

_ Ok, I was totally blitzed, but I’d had enough of the sexual flirting. “You know what Jane? Fuck off.” _

_ Troy howled he was laughing so hard. _

_ I ended up taking a cab. _

  
  


XXXXX

_ I probably forgot to mention that this was just before Christmas. I didn’t see either of them until I got a call from Troy telling me about his New Years Eve party. Did I want to go? _

_ Sure I need the torture, I needed to see Jane again. I particularly wanted those bamboo shoots up my fingernails. I think I was in love with her. But I told her to fuck off. I wanted to see her again, but that would be beyond awkward. _

_ There was a secret thrill in phoning up Troy and asking for his girlfriend's phone number. There is no way to explain it. It was a totally legit call to make another totally legit call. Troy was clueless. I think I mean that in a totally existential way. _

_ “Yeah, you want to give me Jane’s number?” _

_ “You want to apologize? Good man, be less socially awkward.” Fuck you Troy. I was going to get to talk to your girlfriend without you around. _

_My palms were sweaty._ _Fuck that. My nuts were sweaty._

_ I love you Jane. I’m about to call you and I can never  _ ever _ tell you that. _

XXXXX

  
  


_ “Jane?” She had answered the phone! _

_ “Mike?” Ok, my voice was high-pitched I was so nervous, and she had never talked to me on the phone before. There really wasn’t anyway that she could know my voice. _

_ But she did. _

_ “Uh, yeah. Um, I really wanted to apologize for the last thing I said to you.” I told her. “And for the way I acted. That’s not really me. Jane _

_ “I know Mike. I know that’s not you. I’ve seen that since I first met you. It’s ok .You sounded really mad and… you just sounded really mad. I should apologize to you.” Ok. I wasn’t expecting that. _

_ “No worries. We are on the same page… but um, uh… um…” _

_ “Bring the flirting down to about… oh… I don’t know… an eleven?” Her voice. I could just picture her looking into my eyes and saying that. _

_ I was silent for a few seconds. “Yeah, I just don’t need the grief from Troy. You know what I mean?” _

_ “Mike. It’s ok.” _

_ “Um, thanks Jane. See you New Year’s Eve?” _

_ “Yes!” _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ Fuck. Fuck. And more Fuck. You’d think I would learn.  _

_ I did not. _

_ Everyone else was on their own. I managed to arrange it so that Dustin and I could crash at Troy’s place. He said ok, but it would have to be in his room. On the floor. _

_ It was better than nothing. _

_ I have since tried to forget what happened. It’s burnt into my very bones. _

_ Music. Booze. More music. More booze. Midnight on New Year’s Eve. _

_ I didn’t even hear the countdown. I was sitting in the same white leather plush easy chair. I had just taken a long pull from my beer, when suddenly a mouth was clamped over mine. _

_ Nobody had braces but Suzie. As luck would have it, she lived a few doors down from Troy. She was Dustin’s girlfriend. Ok, it was New Year’s Eve. I’m sure Dustin didn’t care. He was pretty loaded too. _

_ She kissed me. Deep wet kiss. My tongue could feel her braces. That let me know who she was. I would apologize to Dustin later and he would say, ‘New Year’s Eve dude, I would have kissed  _ your _ girlfriend.’ _

_ At the time though, it didn’t make me feel any better. Also at the time. I didn’t care. I think she was my first kiss.  _

_ I think. _

_ I was totally fucking anhillated. My memory is very sketchy after that. _

  
  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ Dustin and I were in Troy’s room. He had his bed of course, and Dustin and I slept on the floor. No blankets, no sleeping bag. Bare floor. _

_ Snippets of conversation. That’s how loaded I was.  _

_ “That’s not cool.” Troy said. _

_ “Fuck Troy, it’s New Year’s Eve, every girl here was kissing every guy here. My girlfriend, your girlfriend. Lucas’ girlfriend. All of the girls.” _

_ I have to smile. Max kissed me? I mean, I knew Suzie kissed me. Jane probably did, but I don’t remember. _

_ “Fuck it.” Troy said. “I’m driving you home.”  _

_ He was looking right at me when he said it. _

_ I woke up in a hospital, in pain, with a doctor, a nurse and Chief Hopper staring at me. _


	4. The Darkness

_ “You really fucked up kid.” The chief said. _

_ “Please officer, he is unlikely to remember anything, if ever. He’s in severe pain.” _

_ “What is the last thing you remember?” Hopper had a notebook ready to jot down anything I said. _

_ “The last thing I remember was Troy saying he was going to drive me home. I guess we were in an accident.” _

_ “We?” Hopper raised an eyebrow. _

_ “Troy and I.” _

_ “You were found upside down in a ditch, no seatbelt and impaired. You had to be cut out of the car. Troy wasn’t in the car with you. Wanna tell me again what happened.” _

_ “I don't have a driver’s license, why would I be driving, I don’t even know how? " _

_ “Right, that’s another charge.” _

_ “I remember getting in the back seat, I ripped off a fingernail trying to put the seatbelt on, I looked at it, got queasy and puked all over myself and the backseat. I think all the puking made me pass out. ” My brain was starting to hurt. _

_ Hopper just looked at me. _

_ Fuck. I’d really done it. “Did I kill anybody?” _

_ “No. Thank Fuck.” Hopper said. _

_ I must have sounded like I was begging. “What do I do sir?” _

_ “Well, they want to make an example of you. You can save a lot of money, time, and grief by pleading  _ no contest.  _ I can keep investigating with that new information, but it doesn’t look good. You get physio in this hospital until you are well enough to serve time.” _

_ I gulped. “How much time?” _

_ “At least a year of physio,” the nurse said. _

_ “Then three years in prison. It’s minimum security, but you get no visitors, you can educate yourself and get an hour in the exercise. No chance of probation. No reduced time for good behaviour Sorry kid. Can’t help you at all here.” _

_ I nodded slowly. _

_ “And you’ll be on suicide watch. You aren’t going to anywhere near anything you can kill yourself with. I’m not going to sugarcoat it, it’s gonna be bad. They aren’t pissing around with your case.” _

_ “Do I get to talk to my parents before… I go?” _

_ “No. No visitors.” _

_ I nodded again. My life was over. I hope I enjoyed my last beer. I don’t even remember if I did. Too late now, but I vowed to never drink again. _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ I remember the worst day of my life. _

_ It was my first night in prison. Solitary, totally naked because they didn’t want me to use my clothes to hang myself. _

_ There is a deep kind of grief that the psychologists won’t tell you about. Or don’t even know about. We’ve all heard about the seven stages of grief. Very popular. Very pop-culture. Those psychologists can go fuck themselves. _

_ I’ll admit it. My grief was self-centered. I was bullied as a kid. I was lonely. I had a few nerdy friends I was grateful for. And I had fucked up big time. Once I got out, I was a convict. Hard to get a job with that hanging around your neck. Girlfriend? Please, that ship had sailed over the horizon. No girl would ever forgive what I did. No decent girl that is. I wasn’t interested in any other. _

_ Fuck. My life was completely fucking over. I had to build a bridge and get over it. _

_ I would have to keep from going insane. _

_ My only problem is that I didn’t know how to do that. The only coping skill I really had was just internalizing everything. Keeping to myself. Could I do that even more than I did already? _

_ This all happened because I whined over liking a girl who would never be mine. That’s about as self-centered as you can get. Oh, poor me. Yeah right. I would be paying for thinking like a thirteen year old who’d just gotten dumped. _

_ I didn’t cry once during that four years after the accident, not in pain or sorrow. _

_ There was absolutely no point in it. _

_ I was a walking, breathing, human who was totally dead inside. _


	5. Elephants and Gorillas - Part I

_ Let me tell you about freedom. _

_ It’s a simple word, but it means so much. It can have a slightly different meaning for everybody. Most people have no idea what it means to lose your freedom. _

_ Sure, as a kid you get grounded, but that’s nothing. Stop being a whiny snot nosed kid. You have know idea what it’s like to actually lose your freedom for real. _

_ I did something stupid that, even though I can’t remember it, I paid for it with my freedom. If you ever get your freedom back again, you can go back to doing the stupid things that made you lose it to start with, in which case you are now wasting every one else’s air. _

_ Or you can change. _

_ That’s why I had to do. Jane was never going to know how I felt about her. The feeling wasn’t dead and gone, but it would take a few backhoes to dig it back up again. _

_ I spent my first year of incarceration in a prison hospital ward, and the next three in the actual prison itself. _

_ I was allowed to let my hair grow, kind of like Marc Bolan’s style. I liked it. I grew a beard, I cut most of it off before I left, I liked the five o’clock shadow look though. I kept that. _

_ The day I was let out, my clothes didn’t fit me anymore. So they gave me a non-orange prison overall, and a bus ticket back to Hawkins.  _

_ I’d have to walk to the bus station. _

  
  


XXXXX

_ The warden personally walked me to the front gate. I think she might have had a thing for me. No way I was going to test out that particular theory. _

_ “You didn’t deserve to be here Mike. Everyone knows it. You were just convicted with the wrong administration running things. Go back to your family, or whoever you left behind.” _

_ I shrugged. I’d long ago learned to keep my mouth shut. I turned around when she locked the gate and said, “Good luck, Mike. I mean it.” I nodded. _

_ When I turned back around, Hopper’s Chevy Blazer pulled up. _

_ “Get in, kid.” _

XXXXX

_ “It’s a fine fine day for coming home.” Tony Carey’s song played on the radio. _

_ Hopper glanced down at the radio, “Is it?” _

_ “I’m free. And I’m innocent. That’s gonna have to be enough for today.” _

  
  


XXXXX

_ He dropped me off at Dustin’s place, I hadn’t seen or talked to him in four years. Hopper told me that I’d be able to crash there until I got my own place. _

_ We hugged. _

_ He slapped me on the back, “C’mon…” _

_ I got into his car and said, “Are we going somewhere?” _

_ “We are.” _

_ “Don’t take me out for a drink.” _

_ “Wouldn’t think of it. This will be better.” _

  
  


XXXXX

_ “Watch for that tripwire.” _

_ “Tripwire? Where the hell are we going Dustin? We’re in the middle of nowhere.” _

_ Dustin didn’t say anything, we trudged through the autumn leaves, now getting wet as the rain and eventual storm moved in.  _

_ I saw a cabin up ahead. Was this where I was going to be staying? It was nice and isolated, I wouldn’t have to worry about dealing with people quite yet. I shrugged. It would do. _

_ Dustin knocked on the door. The sound of a few locks unlatching all at once, the door opened. _

_ She stood there, tears in her eyes. Eyes I could have picked out of a crowd of a billion people. She no longer had long blonde hair, it was a very short pixie cut. Made her eyes even prettier than I remembered. No, I didn’t even look at body. I had more respect for women than that. Even after four years on the inside. _

_ I just nodded a  _ hello  _ and said, “I’ll meet you back at the car Dustin. I can’t do this right now.” _

_ I turned around to walk over the porch step, suddenly my feet felt so heavy I couldn’t walk. If I hadn’t grabbed the railing I would have toppled forward down the wooden stairs. I heard a very firm “No.” _

_ I looked back and Jane. “We are going to talk.” She said. _

_ I turned back around and walked back up the stairs. “I’m gonna leave.” Dustin said. _

_ “Let’s get you inside, you can sit by the fire and dry off.” _

  
  
  


XXXXX

_ Jane looked around. “There are at least two elephants in the room, and a few six-hundred pound gorillas. And we are going to talk about all of them.” _

_ I can’t describe the look in her eyes. It wasn’t pity or sympathy. It was something else. I think I lost a lot of social skills when I was inside, I wasn’t picking up on any cues. I definitely didn’t feel like talking. _

_ I shook my head and sighed, “Jane, there’s nothing…” _

_ “Don’t call me Jane, ever again.” _

_ I blushed. “Sorry, Um, Miss Hopper, I…” _

_ “Mike,” she said gently, “Call me Eleven, El for short, I know this is kind of sudden.” _

_ “El?”  _

_ “ _ That  _ six-hundred pound gorilla is actually riding an elephant. We’ll get to it later.” _

_ I nodded. If nothing else I was curious. I hadn’t been curious about anything in a long while. _

_ “Let’s deal with one of the biggest elephants.” _

_ “You know why I was there. Let me give you the highlights, I worked out, I got a few degrees. End of.” _

_ “Degrees? More than one?” _

_ “Crime Scene Forensics, Forensic Pathology, Forensic Psychology.” _

_ “Mike,” she tried to keep her voice from being condescending, but she didn’t quite manage to pull it off. “Those take time and… oh, sorry. I didn’t mean that.” _

_ “Sixteen hour days, for three-hundred-sixty-five days, for four years.” _

_ J-El looked down, I could see that she regretted the way she had said it. _

_ “Minimum security El. I was untouched, if that’s what you were thinking. I had a  _ lot _ of time on my hands.” _

_ She looked at me a little sheepishly, turning red. “I have clothes for you to change into if you want to.” _

_ “Very thoughtful, yes please. Can I take a shower too?” _

  
  
  


XXXXX

_ Second best shower of my life. _

_ I put on the clothes, boxers, jeans and a t-shirt.  _

_ She stared at me when I walked back out to the fireplace. “Is something wrong?” _

_ She turned very red. “It’s a gorilla, we’ aren’t there yet. _

_ “The second big elephant,” she said. _

_ “Troy,” we both said at the same time. _

_ I nodded. _

_ “I never fucked him.” _

_ I know for sure that I winced, I think I might have cringed at the same time. _

_ She gave me an odd look, “Are you ok?” _

_ I nodded. _

_ “Do you want to fuck me right now? ” _

_ This time I cringed and winced at the same time. _

_ “You don’t like it when girls swear do you?” _

_ I didn’t look at her but I shrugged, “People swear.” _

_ “You don’t like it when  _ I _ swear.” _

_ I shook my head. _

_ “That’s kind of old fashioned… and sweet. I was brought up by my dad, so…” _

_ “I get it… El. It’s a personal change on my part. When you are trying to explain something important, to a lawyer, or a judge, or teacher, every word counts. Every time you swear it’s one less useful piece of information they get. When you are asking about your freedom… it becomes very important.” _

_ She nodded. “I know I said that Troy and I… um, screwed. But we didn’t. He tried to get his hands into my pants once. He learned the hard way, he never touched me after that. I was just property to him. I broke up with him that night.” _

_ “You don’t have to explain.” _

_ “It’s an elephant, Mike. I  _ do _ have to explain. He went missing that night. The only person who could prove you are innocent is gone.” _

_ “I’ve already proven myself innocent. The degrees, remember? Science , good science doesn’t lie.” I hmphed, “Just like friends shouldn't. Your dad was a big help. I was cleared, released, and compensated. Didn’t your dad tell you? Anyway, I don’t have the headspace to think about Troy anymore.” _

_ “My dad and I haven’t spoken since that day. He never liked my choice in a boyfriend.” _

_ “Sorry, El.” _

_ “Not your fault, Mike. I made that decision without any help. I’ve had to live with it. While we’re dealing in bad news, your parents sold the house and moved away. I don’t think they left a forwarding address. I’m sorry Mike.” _

_ “Yeah, I know. Lot’s of stigma in a small town, they probably didn’t need the looks from people in town after I went a way. I expected as much. I’ll miss Holly… “Do you want to try a secret pact?” I asked her. _

_ Her eyes looked intrigued and she nodded and smiled at me. _

_ “We never speak of him, that night, or prison again. Ever.” _

_ “Never. I promise… um, don’t we need to hook pinky fingers or something?” She said. _

_ That’s when it happened.  _

_ Her eyes tore open the dead husk of my heart, ripped it clean off, so a new beating heart, twice as powerful as the old one burst through. _

_ The feeling was so palpable that my breath hitched, huffed, and the feeling of unending sobs started. _

_ “Oh sweetie… sweetie…” She had her arms around me, pushed me back against the armrest of the sofa, I put my arms around her waist and cried on her shoulder. _

_ They say that crying makes a guy seem weak. I know for a fact that your mother, or the girl you love will  _ never _ think that. _

_ “Let it go, Mike, let it go. I won’t let  _ you _ go. Let it all out.” _

_ So I did. Years of loneliness, bullying, unrequited love, feeling sorry for myself, losing my freedom and gaining it back. Losing my family. It all came out. It all came out on the shoulder of the girl I loved. Let me tell you, there’s no better feeling than that.  _

_ Just to let it all go. _

_ She lay in my arms for hours. The sound of the rain was the only thing we could hear other than our breathing. We might have fallen asleep for a little bit. Either way, we didn’t move. I wanted to lay like this forever. _

_ When we finally sat up, I was too embarrassed to look at her. _

_ “That felt good didn’t it?” _

_ I was able to look at her then. She smiled at me. _

_ “It really did… Eleven.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ve needed to do that for the longest time.” _

_ She closed her eyes, her breath quickening… her mouth made a small ‘O’ as she took deep, deep breaths, “Whoo, I’m really going to do it. She’s going to ask now...” _

_ She opened her eyes, “Do you love me Mike?” _

_ “I loved you long before we even met. My soul feels at peace right now, and there’s only one way for that to happen.” _

_ “Soulmates.” We both said it at the same time. _

_ We both nodded. “I’ve been wanting to do this since the first day I saw you at… Tr…” She recovered quickly, “That asshole’s place.” _

_ She leaned in and we kissed. Not counting the drunk New Year’s Eve kisses. It was my first real kiss. _

_ We parted, almost panting. _

_ “Mike, do you want to snugglefuck?” She clamped her hand over her mouth, “Sorry, Mike. It’s a word I made up with Max when we were something like thirteen.” _

_ “Did you say  _ snugglefuck?”

_ El giggled. “It’s when you have sex, but not heavy, dirty fu- um, screwing, where you sweat, and when your done you roll over and go to sleep. It’s sex, and after the couple both get their cookies they snuggle and talk abou the weather or how much they love each other, or bare the souls. Snugglefuck.” _

_ I had to laugh, “Ok, it’s a cute word. Snugglesex is softer… but….” _

_ “Ooh, snugglesex. Well the F-word came from Max. No surprise, but I came up with the ‘snuggle’ part. But I love the word ‘snugglesex’. _

_ We looked at each other. “I would like to have it with you Mike, but there’s one more Elephant. It’s the biggest elephant you are ever going to know about. I don’t mind telling you that I’m absolutely scared to death to tell you.” _

_ “El? We’ve dealt with more elephants and gorillas today that most zoos do. If it’s this big, then I know it’s important to you… and that means… important to me now.” _

_ Suddenly I went into a coughing fit. I managed to say through it, “sorry, I haven’t spoken this much in four years.” _

_ I could see she was doing her breathing exercises again. _

_ “Tell me, El.” _

_ “I’m so scared that when I do… I’m going to lose you forever.” _

_ “It’s way too late to lose me El. I’ve thought about nobody else but you, and my quote, best friend. Unquote. I promise, No matter how bad it is… I, I won’t give up on you. I’ve waited too long to talk to a girl like we're talking now. It feels good, and I want to… I want to talk freely to you forever.” _

_ “You mean that?” _

_ “El. I. Promise.” _

_ She gave me one of her pretty smiles. The kind that will remove any knee caps, or muscles you have there. The kind that makes you want to do whatever the girl you love asks. _

_ That kind of smile. If you’ve seen it, you know exactly what I mean. _

_ I loved the way she smiled at me. _

_ “I was stolen as a baby”. _


	6. Elephants and Gorillas - Part II

_ I think I just did one of those stupid blinking things again. _

_ “My mom was involved in one of those MkUltra things in the sixties. She was pregnant in the middle of it, I think the doctors knew, and gave her all kinds of drugs.” _

_ “She’s still alive, but she might as well be dead. I visited her once. Enough to know that she never forgot about me, and never gave up on me. I already know that kind of thing is important to you.” _

_ I nodded. It was hard to meet her eyes again. _

_ “I was taken to Hawkins lab.” _

_ “I don’t know for sure, but I was probably given some psychometric drugs, or whatever they call them now, to enhance what ability I had.” _

_ “Ability?” _

_ “Getting to it, sweetie. I’m going to call you sweetie from now on.” _

_ I smiled at her. “Makes my heart warm. I approve.” _

_ “Make no mistake. I was only an experiment number. _

_ She frowned, showed me her tattoo. It was the number eleven. I didn’t actually burst out into tears, but they flowed nonstop down my face. _

_ “As an experiment… well… I was experimented on. … and my… reproductive insides were messed up… so...” _

_ “El… when I was a kid, about nine or ten, I had a bad sinus infection, they put me on medication. Didn’t fix it, but later they took me off that medication, and I found out later that it was pulled from the market, made pre-pubescent boys sterile. If we have any kids, we’d better start our own religion… it’ll be a miracle... how long were you… experimented on?”  _

_ “About twelve years.” _

_ There was this guy who had both of his arms pulled off in a farming accident. He walked something like nine miles to a hospital. Fast forward. A comedian, Jake somebody, one of his bits was like, this farm accident guy would be an almost impossible guy to be friends with. And his example was: A’h, I’m having a really bad day.’ ‘ Oh yeah? I had both my arms torn off  _ and _ I walked nine miles to the hospital.’ _

_ My point is. I was in prison for four years for a crime I didn’t commit. El was in prison for twelve years for the same thing. _

_ I felt like a piece of shit. _

_ No. _

_ Scratch that. _

_ Remember I said I felt humbled knowing I may never have a girlfriend? _

_ Yeah, you know where I’m going.  _

_ You’ve heard this before. Everybody has. No matter how bad you think you’ve got it. Someone has it worse. Or had it worse. _

_ When that someone, is the person you love. The word ‘humbling’ is very, totally inaccurate. _

_ I listened to her story. I cried. We both cried. It was that bad. I cried even harder when I heard how her dad found her, how she was so desperate she came up to him in the woods, hungry, cold and scared. _

_ I cried for an even longer time. The words, “Sweetie, it’s ok. It’s over now, I’m safe. And I’m loved,” completely destroyed me. I would never be the same again. _

_ Four years in prison? _

_ That’s a breeze. Hearing the girl you love tell you a story like that? I wouldn’t wish that on anybody. I loved El so much at that moment all I could really do is cry.  _

_ I don’t know how long the human body can produce tears for you. For me it was well over five hours. El tried to comfort me, herself crying at the same time. _

_ I think we fell asleep in each other's arms again.  _

_ That’s a nice thing to happen. _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ “You awake?” _

_ “That was a really big, really sad elephant.”  _

_ “I know Mike. Only you know the full story. I’m sorry to hit that with you… on your first day of freedom. But… I love you. I wanted you to know  _ me. _ The full me. The me that loves you beyond any word you’ll find in the dictionary… in any language. I wanted you to know what my soul has been through. You saved me. You know that... right?” _

_ “You saved me too El. Do you still want me to call you El?” _

_ “Hearing my name, the one I knew most of my life… coming from you? It’s heaven. It really is. There is one more thing… maybe not a six-hundred poung gorilla, but you should know it anyway… I was able to visit you in prison. Not like you think though.” _

_ “I couldn’t get any visitors…” But she explained how she did it. I think I felt her presence. I think she kept me from going crazy. _

_ “I wasn’t alone.”  _

_ “You were never alone Mike. I visited you every day before you went to sleep.” _

_ How do you say thank you to a girl that you didn’t even know loved you, but stayed with you until you fell asleep… with an ability you can barely understand. _

_ “El? It’s time.” _

_ “Time?” _

_ “Snugglesex.” _

_ She giggled. “I’m so nervous right now.” _


	7. The Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are suggestive scenes, and brief nudity in this chapter. Short but necessary.

_ El took my hand and led me to her bedroom. _

_ I think that walk was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. We were going to get naked in front of each other. We were going to have sex. We  _ needed _ to do this. There was no question from either of us about that. _

_ “Whew, suddenly I just realized I’m going to be taking my clothes off for you.” She said. _

_ “Believe me El, your body is… beautiful. When I was a kid, I didn’t like anyone seeing my bare feet because I thought they’d make fun of my toes. I got over that, but later I never went shirtless… but you? You have absolutely nothing to worry about.” _

_ She looked at my chest. “When you take your shirt off Mike, I’m going to rub my bare breasts all over your chest. It’s  _ you  _ who have nothing to worry about.” _

_ We both giggled. We were both nervous as hell. _

_ El was down to her bra and panties. She was beautiful. _

_ I took of my shirt and had the top button of my jeans undone when El said, “Oh God Mike. You are a gorgeous piece of meat. I’m sorry, was that sexist?” _

_ We both broke out laughing. _

_ “I don’t care,” she said, “I’m going to do it. She took off her bra. _

_ “You go ahead in ogle,” she said, “ I’m going to rub them on your chest, just like I said I would. You look like you stepped out of a Frazetta painting.” _

_ I looked down at my chest. “I’m not  _ that _ muscled.” _

_ She looked at me. “I’m an artist. One of the courses you have to take is human anatomy. Frazetta is known for the rippling muscles on his men, but his women are a little chunky. I like Boris’s women more.” She winked at me, “but I draw the Frazetta men. ” _

_ She came close to me, pressed her bare breasts against my chest and rubbed them around. “Mmm, exactly what I thought it would feel like.” _

_ She kissed my pecs, and then my abs, she continued down to my belly button… she hooked her fingers into the belt loops of my jeans and pulled them down. _

_ She looked up at me. _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  
  


_ “That is the most intimate act of love I can give you Mike.” _

_ I was still breathing heavy. “I’m going to return that intimate kiss, El.” _

_ “Please.” She breathed. _

XXXXX

  
  


_ El’s head lay on my chest. She said. “I guess that proved I’m not a prude.” _

_ “That was amazing. El. I think I knew that... with the person who is your soulmate... it would be.” _

_ “I’m glad we are out here in the cabin. I think I was a little loud.” _

_ “That just means I did it right.” _

_ “Mike? You’ve done everything right by me, I… oh! Again?” _

_ “I’m ready El. _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ “This snuggling afterwards is not bad at all.” I said. “You are right, once the sexual tension is out of the way you can bare your soul. We’ve already done that. _

_ “Mmm.” I would have put her response down as afterglow. _

_ “Um, El. Would you do something for me?” _

_ “I already know what you are going to ask.” _

_ “You do?” _

_ “You want me to reconcile with my dad… if you come with me Mike, I can do that. I’d do that for you.” _

_ “You will be doing this for yourself El. You need to do this. For you and for your dad. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be here with you right now.” _

_ She was silent. _

_ Mike felt the hot tears on his chest. “Ok Mike. You know we are not going to work out if you are always right. Haven’t you heard? It’s the women who are never wrong.” _

_ “I’ve heard. Maybe after today you can never be wrong.” I could feel her smile against me. _

_ They didn’t last long though.  _

_ “Oh Mike! Really?” Mike could feel her hand on him. “You are like a sex machine.” _

_ “Me and James Brown.” _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  
  


_ “I’ve had all the cookies I can take…” El sounded tired, but content. _

_ “Um, El was I any good?” _

_ She turned her head and kissed my chest. “You don’t need to worry Mike. You were… very good. Do you want to shower together?” _

_ That was the best shower of my life. _

  
  



	8. For a Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter to finish it off. Sorry.

_ “Ok, this might be scariest thing I’ve ever done. Taking off my clothes in front of you was… exciting, knowing that we would be making love right after.” _

_ “Making love?” _

_ “Screwing, Mike.” _

_ I blushed and smiled. “I’m starting to sound like the prude now.” _

_ “You are  _ not _ a prude Mike. You proved that last night, all night… and this morning… you are going in with me?” _

_ “I wouldn’t let you do this alone.” I took her hand and we made our way through the front doors. _

  
  


XXXXX

_ El hugged her dad’s middle, and he kissed the top of her head. They hadn’t said anything to each other yet. I could see the tears making their way down the chief’s face. I backed away silently, closed the the office door and went to talk to Flo. _

_ “Did you talk her into coming here?” Flo said. _

_ “I told her she needed to.” _

_ Flo nodded, “How are you doing? That whole mess was terrible.” _

_ “It’s done. Thanks to the chief, and I imagine you had a lot to do with my freedom also.” _

_ Flo handed him a piece of paper _

Mike heard Flo’s intercom, “Send him in with the document.”

_ I walked into the chief’s office with the paper. El came over and held my hand, she mouthed the words, “all good” and “thank you” to me. _

_ “What’s this about sir?” _

_ “The state wants me to hire a forensic investigator. No, not Eleanor  _ _ Gillespie cases. You are going to be paid by the state, but on loan from my department. El can travel with you. Sound good?” _

_ “I don’t know how to thank you sir.” _

_ He looked at El. “You already did that. More than you can imagine.” _

_ El’s eyes were wet. _

_ Hopper smiled. “You know you might as well show her.” _

_ El looked back and forth from me to her dad. I took her hand. “Follow me.” _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ “There’s that song again.” El said.  _

“It’s a fine fine day for a reunion.”

_ For me, that was perfect, here was a blonde girl sitting on the grass in front of the house. _

_ “Mike? Who’s that?” _

_ “That’s my little sister Holly. She’d be fourteen now. She’s coming to live with us.” _

_ “Us?” _

_ “Remember you told me that someone bought my parents house? That was me. Money from government compensation. We can live here… if you want… my sister will be living here too.” _

_ “You want to keep house with me?” El said, giving me another pretty smile. I’d never get used to those. _

_ “Kind of old fashioned, but you know me…” _

_ When we got out of the car, Holly ran into my arms. We both cried for a few minutes. When we parted she went over to El and hugged her. They were talking quietly, it looked serious for a few seconds, but then there was laughter and smiles. _

  
  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ “What was that about? I asked El that night, later in bed. _

_ “Your sister told me that she knew we’d be screwing in the same house where she ate, but if we could keep the noise down she’d be grateful.” _

_ I burst out laughing. “Ok, as soon as she’s out of the house, whenever that is, find whatever room I’m in and we can take off our pants. We’ll just have a quickie in that room to tap some steam.” _

_ This time El laughed, “You just  _ know _ I’m going to do that, don’t you?” _

_ “I’m counting on it.” _


End file.
